When The Children Have Grown Up

One of these days you’ll shout, “Why don’t you kids grow up and act your age?” And they will. Or, “You guys get outside and find yourself something to do …. And don’t slam the door.” And they won’t. You’ll straighten up the boy’s bedroom neat and tidy …. Bumper stickers discarded …. Spread tucked and smooth …. Toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet. Animals caged. And you’ll say out loud, “Now, I want it to stay this way.” And it will.

You’ll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn’t been picked to death, and a cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you’ll say, “Now, there’s a meal for company.” And you’ll eat it alone. You’ll say, “I want complete privacy on the phone. No fooling around. No pantomimes. No demolition crews. Silence! Do you hear?” And you’ll have it.

No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti. No more bedspreads to protect the sofa from damp bottoms. No more gates to stumble over at the top of the basement steps. No more clothespins under the sofa. No more nights under a vaporizer tent. No more playpens to arrange a room around. No more sand on the sheets. No more iron-on patches; wet knotted shoestrings; tight boots, or rubber bands for pony tails.

Imagine a lipstick with a point on it! No baby sitter for New Year’s Eve. Washing only once a week. Seeing a steak that isn’t ground. No PTA meetings. No car pools. No blaring radios. No one washing her hair at 11 o’clock at night. Think about it! No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and library paste. No more sloppy oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No giggles in the dark. No knees to heal. No responsibility. Only a voice crying, “Why don’t you grow up?” And the silence echoing, “I did.” —Erma Bombeck

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is His reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate” (Psalm 127:3-5).

—Mike Riley, Gospel Snippets