1) A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"
2) A Bible class teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor your father and your mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brother and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy (the oldest of siblings) answered, "Thou shalt not kill!"
3) The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at the picture when you are all grown up and say, "There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer," or "that's Michael, he's a doctor." A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead!"
4) A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." The class said, "Yes, it would!" The teacher asked, "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run to my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty!"
5) Children were lined up in the cafeteria of an elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was large pile of apples. The cafeteria manager made a note, and posted it on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE — God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want — God is watching the apples!"
—Mike Riley, Gospel Snippets
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